REPOST: Friendship for Sale

Friendship for sale! Friendship for sale!
Friendship for sale! Friendship for sale!

My collection of friends, or
semi-friends, or never-were-my-friends,

are available for sale.

My collection of friends:
deceiving friends, lying friends, back-biting friends, spying friends, always mocking friends, and never letting me live friends. Always parenting me friends, jealous competitive friends, always gotta win friends, take the fun out of fun friends, judgmental friends, controlling, juckin'-n-jivin' friends. Talking behind your back friends, never calling me back friends, laughing at your expense friends, always talking but never listening friends, always right never wrong friends, over bearing and pushy friends, overstepping their bounds friends, unapologetic friends, complaining friends, using me for their own good friends, agenda-seeking friends...

are available for sale.

...loud and obnoxious friends, disrespectful friends,foul-mouth and ungrateful friends;
always-have-to-be-the-center-of-attention friends, codependent friends, provoking friends, unloving friends, low self-esteem friends, low financial means friends, going nowhere friends, extreme friends, unbelieving friends, two-timing friends, childish friends, arrogant friends, greedy friends, spoiled friends, nobody’s friend friends.

are all available for sale.

I am moving out of the neighborhood.